If You Struggle with Unwanted Behaviors, You Need This Tool!

(Adapted from the Deep Recovery Workbook, by Matthew Mirabile)

“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.” — (Romans 7:15–20)

If you have ever struggled with addiction or mental health issues, or as a Christian felt shame about being unable to overcome persistent sins, you are not alone. Making promises to change won’t work if we continue doing the same things that reinforce old patterns. You have to renew your mind. This means hacking your thinking and nervous system.

“Trauma changes the body’s fight or flight system, i.e. the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. When a person lives under chronic stress and terror, the body adapts itself to the chronic secretion of stress hormones. The body wires itself into a chronic state of arousal and guardedness.” 1

The human body is capable of incredible change — but not all at once. Our core beliefs affect what we think and how we feel, and they become embedded in the body — your “wetware.” Think of your brain like the software that runs a computer: it was programmed by past events and controls your nervous system based on bad data. This means your body is living in the past while your head and heart want a different future. The good news is we can “hack” those systems to support deep and lasting personal transformation. But we have to get the cooperation of your “wetware” to make it happen.

Since those traumatic experiences have become wired into your brain and nervous system, the principle of neuroplasticity suggests that practicing new behaviors and thoughts will gradually reshape your brain and autonomic nervous system. This happens slowly and requires behavioral and cognitive change.

How The Deep Recovery Cycle Works

In the figure below, you will find the Deep Recovery Cycle. It is based on the addiction cycle many people are familiar with, but it provides a series of responses based on long-established principles of Christian transformation. This process can help us walk back unhealthy behaviors. practicing these responses will reshape our neural networks over time.

In meeting each phase of the cycle with the corresponding corrective response. This is based on the principle of neuroplasticity — the brain’s ability to change. The method prescribed here is based on spiritual principles that, if followed faithfully, will lead to spiritual, cognitive, and moral health.

As shown above, the Recovery Cycle is made of two rings: an inner one and an outer one. The inside cycle runs clockwise and represents the addiction cycle. Here, you can track the progression of an event from an initial trigger, through the addiction cycle, along its stages to its conclusion (from trigger to promise to stop).

The outside circle shows the recovery cycle and runs counter-clockwise. This shows the correct response is at each stage of the negative behavioral process. The positive behaviors performed at each stage work to interrupt and correct the harmful cycle on the inside. The arrows that “circle back” guide us through it.

Recovery Cycle Steps:

• Self-awareness is our starting point. This is what we practice when negative experiences trigger a downward cycle into a spiritual, biological and emotional collapse. The Christian faith teaches that sin inhibits this initially. However, trauma makes this much more difficult. It is hard to do and becomes the last skill we practice well.

• Prayerful Action is the right response when we ruminate on an offense or event and fantasize escape. Whether through prayer (if we are people of faith) or mindfulness contemplation, we seek to reappraise the event and think of the best response. Emotional arousal hijacks the higher cognitive areas of the brain, keeping us from seeing and acting on healthier possibilities. Prayer and Mindfulness help us recenter.

  This is not our first response. It doesn’t come naturally when toxic, trauma-based responses are our habit. But it can become our first response with practice.

• Cognitive interventions are tools that help redirect the mind away from obsessive thinking patterns. We teach short prayers, like: Jesus, Son of God, have mercy upon me; Lord, have mercy, Christ have mercy; Jesus, I trust you. You can try other helpful phrases too. The effect is that they are short and easy to repeat. They are necessary to escape negative, obsessive thinking. Left uninterrupted, obsessive thoughts lead to unhealthy acts. When we interrupt those ruminations with the cognitive intervention strategies, we learn to stop the cognitive and neurobiological process that supports those bad habits.

• “Acting out” interventions (at the bottom of the cycles) are what we practice when we in the act and in danger of losing control completely. This is when we need outside intervention. A sponsor or accountability partner is helpful. First, be humble enough to share your struggle with someone else. This can stop free-fall into compulsive behavior in its tracks! When we get trapped in a compulsive short-cycle loop, we repeat the behavior and can’t stop. This is when we need a hard intervention. Pray and ask God to rescue you, giving God permission to sabotage your self-destructive cycle, and ask someone to come and rescue you if you need that. You need outside help.

• Reconciliation with God, yourself, and others helps us process toxic guilt and shame of acting out. If left undone, those can drive us into another episode, creating a “compulsive loop.” Asking God for forgiveness and forgiving ourselves is one of the first and most important steps of recovery. It goes along with self-compassion. When we trust in God’s mercy and accept His forgiveness, we can cut short the cycle of guilt and self-berating.

• Gratitude helps to “reset” our thinking positively. Promises to stop can be disheartening when we have failed so many times. Instead of promising to “do better,” thank God for the times where you did better than before and thank Him for His mercy and forgiveness. Practicing gratefulness interrupts the negative cycle (at any point). It tilts neural mechanisms in new, better directions. Gratitude and self-loathing can’t exist in our conscious mind at the same time. Practice gratitude!

Using the Recovery Cycle Tool

Each phase of the recovery cycle provides a solution for the underlying thinking and behavior that precedes it. By practicing the responses on the outer-ring we can “walk back” negative patterns over time, hacking our neurobiology. When faced with temptation, we can use this model “in the moment” to help us see where we are in the process and remind ourselves of the right response (It helps to keep a copy of the graphic with you at all times). After you have practiced the recovery process for a while, you will recognize where you are in your cycle more easily and interrupt it sooner.

Note the two lines going through the middle of the graphic. The area of freedom above the upper (red) line represents real, mental, and emotional freedom. The area beneath the bottom (grey) line is where compulsion lives. The area in the middle, between the lines, represents the critical zone, where we are in danger. The area above the red line represents interior liberty. This is where human beings are meant to live, in the freedom zone where self-awareness, prayerful right action and gratitude occupy our minds and hearts all the time.

Learn to put the Recovery Cycle to work. It is a tool. Take a photo of the recovery cycle and keep it handy on your phone. This week, when you find yourself spiraling into unhealthy patterns, or if you find yourself feeling anxious, depressed or disconnected, take it out and study it. Ask yourself, “How long has this been going on? Was there a trigger that started this process? Where am I in this process now? What is the recommended response to this stage of my cycle?” Keep going back to this as often as you can.

1. Jeff Rediger, Sickness or Sin: Discernment and differential diagnosis, Chirban pg. 76

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