Updated: Jun 11, 2021
When it comes to opening up the can of worms that lies beneath the surface of our composed lives (even if they are not composed at all!) we don't really want to do it. It feels safer to let sleeping dogs lie. Meanwhile we struggle with behaviors that sabotage relationships, jobs and finances. It may be threatening to think of going to a therapist, but going to a group where other people might understand us makes it a lot easier. Here are seven ways a Deep Recovery Course group meeting makes it easier:
Having other people in the room create a buffer. All the attention is not on you and you are not on the only one expected to share. This leaves you room to maneuver emotionally, creating a greater sense of safety.
You can experiment and find your voice. Many of us do not have the language to put on our pain, trauma or inner experience. That's why it is so hard to express what we are going through. Being in a group allows us to listen and learn language for our experience. We will find words, themes and concepts we can identify with and others we wont. Finding language for our experience is an important part of understanding outselves.
We can learn to trust others. If you grew up with trauma somewhere in your experience, trusting others is pretty hard. Learning to trust others and extend our network of people we trust is essential to growing our "heart".
We gain a sense of community as we find others that share our struggles. Even when the struggles look differently than ours, we find that we can identify with the pain or struggle of others. We learn that we are all in a community of struggle for a better outcome for our lives.
Small groups provide positive friendships and influnces. Sometimes the people we are with most of the time are toxic. When we attend meetings with others and learn to trust and gain a sense of community, and the environment is positive and healthy, our perspective about ourselves and the world changes. Becoming part of a positive and healthy community enables us to see the world in a less threatening way.
Others can get to know us and we get to know them. That also means they can "see" us and might recognise when we are being evasive, untruthful or habitually self-defeating and can call us out on it. This should always be done with respect and the benefit is that it creates a level of accountability that is healthy if we are serious about changing our lives.
When all these things happen we can "feel the love" in the room. No one is judging us, everyone is on the same level, everyone is struggling towards the same kind of goal and everyone is there to support your journey. Creating a loving and supporting environment like this plays an important part in creating the conditions for change in our brains and our thinking.